There are things you say you’ll never do in your lifetime. Like, voluntarily attend a Justin Bieber concert. And then there are things you don’t know you’d ever even have to consider, so they don’t really make your list. Crawling through a sewer tunnel under a road in Staten Island was one of the latter. But I did just that this past weekend at the Spartan Race in Staten Island, NY.

Last year Spartan Race, like Tough Mudder, got a rough review from us. But we’re happy to say, that just like Tough Mudder, the organizers of Spartan Race stepped up to the plate and fixed many of our beefs. And they did it in a big way. As a race series, they now offer 3 different distances, plus the 24-hour Death Race, in a valiant attempt to get all athletic levels off the couch and in the mud. The Super Spartan on Saturday in Staten Island, NY was the mid-distance race (8 miles), and to be completely honest, I had a GREAT day racing it. I’m no couch potato and by the end, I was exhausted, filthy, scratched, scraped and a little sore. EXACTLY what I wanted and expected from a race claiming to “test your resilience, strength, stamina, quick decision making skills, and ability to laugh in the face of adversity.”

For starters, this race was hard. Maybe harder than the race directors actually wanted it to be! They can thank the 48 hours of rain prior to race morning for that. The parts of the course that were supposed to be flat and grassy were now covered in ankle-deep mud. The parts that were supposed to be muddy were now knee-deep in some places. I almost lost my shoe on multiple occasions, and I didn’t hear of any runner making it through the 6+ miles of muddy trails without falling on their rump at least once. The sheer difficulty of the run portions of the course could stand on their own (of the 8+ miles, I would say less than a half mile total was on grass, concrete, or flat). But there was more. We started with about a half mile of beach running with a few duck-under obstacles, then we got to grass just in time to go over, then under (then repeat) walls, followed by a wet and longer-than-I’ve-ever-done army crawl under some barbed wire. Finish that, and then the course really starts.

Things are just getting started...

The next 6-ish miles went through the woods on trails that were sloppy, slippery, steep and covered in ankle-deep mud. And oh yeah, there were obstacles, too. Obstacles like a cargo net climb (thankfully the only obstacle where I had to wait my turn), a cement block pull, fire jump, muddy hill ascension, the aforementioned sewer crawl, a tire carry and wading upstream through a creek about knee-deep multiple times. And did I mention the whole muddy trail running component? Yeah, it was tough. The only problem with the trail was the fact that 90% of it was single-track. It was tricky (and dangerous no less) to go around someone if you had that opportunity. The good news is it was probably the best-marked course I’ve ever been on. At no time did I have any doubt that I was exactly where I needed to be.

Muddy? Yeah, just a little.

Once we finally emerged from the woods, we ran approximately a quarter mile on the street before heading into a local park and faced two more obstacles, back to back. These two were the weakest of the day. There was an overhead ladder (monkey bars), but it was sad, short and looked like it was just shipped-in from a kindergarten playground. Plus it was just sitting on the grass in a field instead of over a mud pit, so there wasn’t much consequence if you failed to successfully cross them. Speaking of consequences, did I mention that racers were supposed to do 30 burpees if you failed any obstacle? This was a good thought so as not to have people skip obstacles, but it would have helped if volunteers tried to better enforce these penalties or at least dished out a little public embarrassment. Spectators we spoke to said that the only people enforcing the burpees were fellow friends/racers who gave their buddies crap if they tried to wuss out.

After the ladder, we ran a bit more before climbing across a pretty basic balance challenge obstacle and then begun to make our way back to the beach for the approach to the finish area. It was here that we looked around and noticed that we were part of only a handful of people not walking, a testament to the ferocity of the course and conditions. Once we hit the beach and covered another mile, we reached one of the tougher obstacles of the day, a simple rope attached to a cement block  that racers had to drag across the beach. This was HARD and seemed to be a sick joke for those of us already suffering.

Yes, people actually PAY money to do this.

Once clearing the beach, we ran through yet another pond (actually, I’m not sure it was supposed to be a pond — might have just been more flooding) and had to take our chances throwing a spear into a brick of hay (one chance or burpees!) before making our way to what I’ll call The Wall. This was my favorite obstacle because it was something that I had never done before and reminded me of something straight out of American Ninja Warrior (one of my faves!). To cross The Wall, racers had to traverse sideways across a wall littered with little pieces of wood using only their fingertips and toes. Fall off…burpees!

WAY harder than it looks. No, really!

After another obstacle (a muddy wooden ramp wall with a tricky wooden ladder to clamber down) it was another 50-yard dash to the finish. But the kind folks at Spartan Race put one last barrier between you and that precious finish line: gladiator-themed meat-heads. These warriors sat ready to attack, jousting poles in hand, looking to knock your socks off one last time off before you could scurry to the sweet solace on the other side of the finish line.

Parting gift from the kind folks at Spartan Race!

In addition to bruises, cuts, and scrapes, finishers got a very well deserved, decently-designed medal and t-shirt. Props for that. A couple demerits have to be given for running out of t-shirts; some racers didn’t get theirs. Also, there should have been water or sports drink right at the finish line (though they did have 3 water stations on the trails which was nice, and needed). But the fact that they had free beer immediately available at the finish was a great touch and made up for some of the organizational glitches.

Course: A-   There’s still some room for improvement on a few of the obstacles (cargo net, arm ladder, and fire jump) and volunteers should have enforced the failed-obstacle burpees equally and with greater fervor. If you’re not good at obstacles, that’s a lot of burpees! But like I said, it was hard. And if you’re like us, hard means FUN.

Organization: B-   Check-in was kind of disorganized. They ran out of timing chips for day-of entrants which made some people late to the start line or bumped to a later wave. Plenty of volunteers where they need to be, though. Ample facilities, etc.

Atmosphere: A   Everyone on the course was great and supportive. Toward the end, even the people that you were trying to pass became an ally. And the folks slowing down would give you room to pass if needed. “Spartan” decor was also omnipresent which helped set the tone from the onset and kept athletes pumped up. Plus, competing against “Spartans” at the end was an experience in itself.

Logistics: B   It’s not easy to get to Staten Island, but I understand the space needed for an event like this, and to be honest the race directors did as much as they probably could have to remedy this. They provided shuttles from the train station on SI, as well as from the high school where there was additional parking. Though if you took public transit, it could have easily taken you 2+ hours to get to the race start (subway to ferry to subway to shuttle bus).

Overall: A-   I would do it again in a heartbeat, and enjoy it. That’s really the ultimate grade and all you need to know.

-Josh

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